We Don't Need Your Kind Here
|directed = Kelpy G|creative = Kelpy G|title card = Kelpy G|next = The Helping Hand Dilemma|image = }} We Don't Need Your Kind Here 'is the first part of the twenty-part miniseries of the same name. This episode aired on September 12, 2019. Plot Squidward and Mr. Krabs have a fight over whether the United Socialist Republic of Rock Bottom, which will celebrate fifty years of communist rule following a great revolution, is successful or not. SpongeBob, sick and tired of how his pals are fighting (which has intensified ever since Mayor Donald Fish was elected), takes the three of them to a trip to Rock Bottom to see who is the winner. Characters * SpongeBob SquarePants * Squidward Tentacles * "Mr." Eugene Krabs * Random Edgy Squid * Old Rock Bottomite * Donald Fish (mentioned) Transcript * ''episode begins. * [Squidward Tentacles, an angry minimum wage worker, goes to the local Bikini Bottom Communist Party headquarters. Today is a very special day...] * '''Squidward: ''public announcer Ahem, attention! * ''communist party members, mostly 25-35-year-old squids on minimum wage after getting their Masters' in Squid Studies, freeze and look towards Squidward, on the podium giving a speech. * Squidward: '''As you know, today is the 50th anniversary of the communist revolution in Rock Bottom. On that day, after our imperialistic system has exploited their seaweed plantations, revolutionaries overthrew the sadistic government and let the PEOPLE take charge. Today they are cheering in excitement, and one day, we shall join our cousins and be a people's republic ourselves. * '''Random Edgy Squid: ''shouting from the center of the audience What about the refugees, comrade? * '''Squidward: '''Excuse me, what? * '''Random Edgy Squid: '''The refugees. After the Great Rock Bottom Famine of the 1960s, thousands of peasant Rock Bottomites stormed the road to Bikini Bottom to escape hunger. Some didn't make it, comrade. Them and their descendants were outside the Mayor's Office today protesting a press statement acknowledging the revolution, comrade. * '''Squidward: '''Listen buddy, I'm an intellectual scholar who is ''very ''fine playing my hands on the clarinet, and ''even more fine...I mean, this is a revolutionary organization. If you don't like action, then get out. * Random Edgy Squid: 'Literally all the news networks were there. ''Fish News Network, Fish Broadcasting Company, Fishy Bones' InfoFish. Mayor Donald Fish was there, and he said... * '''Squidward: '''What...what the h*ck did you just say? * '''Random Edgy Squid: '''Um, Mayor Donald Fish— * '''Audience Member: Go away, traitor! * brawl ensues in which the entire audience comically attacks the edgy squid. In the crowd however, we see someone. Oh! It's SpongeBob SquarePants! Squidward's annoying neighbor who always follows him wherever he goes. The fight begins to clear up. * Squidward: '''Now that the traitor has been evicted, I shall go over my plans. At twelve o'clock midnight, we storm the residence of Mr. Eugene Krabs, one of the most disgusting bourgeoisie trash in town. We steal all his possessions, put him and his daughter Pearl in a re-education camp, and commence the revolution! * '''Audience: ''unison'' Hooray! Down with the Krab! Down with the Krab! * Bikini Bottom Communist Party members march towards Eugene Krabs' house. SpongeBob silently tags along. After they arrive, Squidward knocks on the door. Eugene Krabs is watching money-themed videos on his computer. * Eugene Krabs: ''the knock'' Oh no! It's...the tax collector! I thought I gave that dude a free krabby patty the other day...corrupt communist. * Krabs takes out his sea legs and proceeds carefully, opening the door every so slightly. Squidward slammed it open. * Squidward: 'Well, well, well. If it isn't EUGENE KRABS! THE MOST DISGUSTING GREEDY FAT CAT IN ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM! * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Mr. Squidward, what the actual h*ck do you want? It's twelve in the morning, I'm trying to watch money, I— * '''Squidward: '''Money, money, krabby money! That's all you care about. We are going to ''re-educate ''you, and join our cousins in Rock Bottom! * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Rock Bottom? Why do you want to join that krusty place? * '''Squidward: '''Because Rock Bottom got the 'rock' answers! We are sick and tired of our jobs! * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Your poverty jobs? You do realize, the only reason you're living in poverty is because you spent all your money and money that even isn't yours on that stupid Masters in Squid Studies, which contributes absolutely no value to society, and you're trapped. Do you ever see doctors and engineers living like you and your squid pals? No, because they save lives and build infrastructure. In Rock Bottom, no one outside political families is allowed to go to college. They are starving, Squidward, while we eat Krabby Patties on the daily. * '''Squidward: '''Shut up, Krabs! Rock Bottom is an amazing place! You and Mayor Donald Fish have no idea what you're talking about! * ''this moment, SpongeBob jumps in * 'Squidward: '''SpongeBob, what are you doing here? * '''SpongeBob: '''I don't know...besides, why are you guys arguing? Can't you guys just go to Rock Bottom? * ''rest of the Bikini Bottom Communist Party members, never once actually considering going to Rock Bottom to check out what their "dream" was like, fled immediately * '''Squidward: annoyed ''Fine. We'll see, tomorrow morning. * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Twenty-four hours in Rock Bottom and your communist dreams will flutter. Alright, SpongeBob, the three of us will go on the trip, but you're paying the fare. * '''SpongeBob: '''Yay! * '''Squidward: 'groans * next morning, the three travel to Rock Bottom. They travel through luscious greenery. * Squidward: You see that, Krabs? A beautiful environment! I love Rock Bottom! * Eugene Krabs: 'Now hold on there, we haven't reached the border yet. * ''go past a sign titled "Welcome to Rock Bottom," with graffiti vaguely striking through "Rock Bottom" and replacing it with "Davy Jones' Locker." The environment begins to rapidly deteriorate, and they see peasants that look like fish skeletons farming stale crop. * 'Squidward: '...huh? * arrive at the bus terminal. * '''SpongeBob: '''Ugh, this place looks hideous! * '''Eugene Krabs: '''You see, Squidward, Rock Bottom is indeed Davy Jones' Locker. Now let's head home, we gotta open the Krusty Krab! * '''Squidward: But...but...Rock Bottom is a utopia! They have, uh to a bathroom signs which read "?" and "¿" ''genderless bathrooms! And ''to a sign that reads "Doctors' Appointment Waiting List," which states literally every resident in the city, and the appointment times are scheduled decades from today ''free healthcare! And... * ''of a sudden, an old fish calls out to them. * Old Rock Bottomite: 'Say, you guys look pretty nourished? Are you guys Bikini Bottomites? * '''Squidward: '''Yeah...a very disgraceful place. * '''Old Rock Bottomite: '''Disgraceful?! I remember thinking that when I was your age, son. That's why I joined the Rock Bottom Communist Party in 1957. I thought "finally, some equality!". Boy, was I wrong. After we seized the Rock Bottom Mayor's Office, I expected greatness. But then drought came, and no one could farm. We evicted all the agricultural workers, so it couldn't be solved. All the fish got sick. But the doctors moved since we paid them the same wages as farmers and so couldn't pay back their expensive loans. Everyone's dying man...please return. This place sucks. * ''three of them, silently, return on the next bus to Bikini Bottom. They arrive at the Bikini Bottom Bus Station. * 'Eugene Krabs: '''You see, Squidward? Capitalism isn't perfect, but we live much better than that old fish over there. * '''Squidward: '''SHUT UP KRABS! HE IS A BIKINI BOTTOM INTELLIGENCE AGENCY SPY! THE REVOLUTION MUST GO ON! ''marches off, ranting about the glories of communism. * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Welp, he's fired. I guess you can have a nickel for a raise. * '''SpongeBob: '''Yay! * '''Eugene Krabs: ''stutters...or, maybe not. * '''SpongeBob: '''Even more yay! * '''Eugene Krabs: '''Atta boy. * ''episode ends. Trivia * This is the first fanon episode made by Kelpy G in 2019. * This is the first fanon episode in SBFW history to be sponsored by a political party. * the United Socialist Republic of Rock Bottom is a parody of Cuba * The name was adapted from a single released by Travis, "We Don't Need Your Kind Here," in 2016. Category:Episodes Category:2018 Category:Percyblu